I will not lie to you. I watched the movie Lightspeed this afternoon, for fifteen minutes. I hate my life because of it. These are the series of events that led up to this scathing review.
I received a text from my brother, and here it is. "Watch the movie lightspeed on netflicks. Holy Shitty sci fi movie" I know some words are misspelled but that is not the point. The point is that I wish I would have read his text to the end. I did not. My cursor was found wandering the Netflix instant que page with trepidation, but my actions were already done. I had clicked the wonderful blue "Play" button and then it happened.
The movie started, and I want the time, and click, back. This movie is awful. In the course of the fifteen minutes of viewage, something was going on, but I didn't give the movie time enough to explain itself to me. My interest was peaked when the dead body of a guard was ascending an escalator. My interest plummeted by the time his corpse reached the top of these mobile stairs. (Time: 3 seconds).
I am appalled that Hollywood would even let Sci Fi movies print their poor excuses for movies. With such great titles as the amazing "Mansquito," "Cerberus," "Giant Squid vs. Great White" (or whatever that one is) I say it is high time Sci Fi movies was bombed.
Please stop the production on whatever your next movie is. I am sure I, and the rest of America, will hate every moment of it, from the poorly executed opening credits to the terrible caliber of actor you are stuck with. If you, Sci Fi, are wondering why you have never won any kind of notable award for your movies, please take a seat, pop in your latest creation, and hide the noose.
I give this movie, or at least the fifteen minutes of it I watched, .2 stars. The only reason you got a partial star is because I now know that whatever I can produce will shine next to this poor excuse for a high school film project. I look forward to hearing from you, both the reader and Sci Fi.
Thank you,
GOISPU
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