Reader,
It's been a while (pronounced H-wile). I'm going hit you with something that is very close to my heart. And I hope you take something from this rant.
If you are one of these people, I urge you, no PLEAD you to change your ways. I swear to God, if I have to move off the sidewalk while you are walking by yourself towards me down a 3 foot wide thoroughfare, I just might lose my mind and snap both of your ankles then watch you try and squirm your way to the hospital.
This stems from multiple run-ins with what I would like to call "dick heads." Iowa City residents are some of the most self absorbed individuals I have ever had the displeasure to meet.
Seriously, think about this. If you are walking by yourself and see someone, by themselves, walking in your direction, what is your first instinct? Mine is to reach towards my pistol that I like to pretend I have. Yours, if you are a "dick head" is to take up as much room as is possible and inconvenience everyone around you.
There have been multiple times my shoes have been bogged by wet grass because of you. Now I realize I live in a high population of pot smokers. This inhibits some reactions and I give you the benefit of a lagging system. But hear me out here. There is no way you are flying higher than a space shuttle and cannot see the passerby (me) at 2:40 p.m. in the afternoon.
I'm sick of it. Stop being a dick head and live in the real world. You remember the one I'm talking about right? The one where people are considerate and MOVE OVER.
Thank you and I hope you learn something from this,
GOISPU
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Dude, you obviously have never been to the city of Los Angeles. People there are the most inconsiderate, incoherent, impatient FUCKHEADS I have ever had the displeasure of being around. Also I would like to add that curb-stomping is also an acceptable punishment for these crimes of rudeness. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYours Truly,
Chris C.