The Hobo Hubub

Dear Stumbler,

I think you and I can agree. The world is way too complicated, and Billy had it right. The world IS a vampire. We can work one full hour at a minimum wage job so we can afford three oranges. We work two hours and can afford 500 pages for our printers. We work three hours and HEY, we have five gallons of gas to drive somewhere where we have to work twelve hours to pay for the food we eat!

Lets take a step back, devolve to a simpler creature, lose all worries the world piles on top of our over-burdened shoulders and become bums.

Look at these people. Have you seen anyone else in the world so damn happy? I doubt it (unless you know crack heads, and in that case, they are probably bums anyways, just to prove my point). Walking down the street today after yet another enjoyable Spanish class, I followed one of these creatures. Slowly slinking down the cracked sidewalk, this embodiment of self service and cigarettes was enjoying everything about life at that exact moment.

While I was contemplating my over loaded homework schedule, this magnificent human was wondering where he was going to walk for his afternoon stroll. I was thinking about joining the Army to pay the bills, and he was thinking about how great his Pall Mall's tasted.

I want to be that man. I want to forget the problems of an overactive, over-priced world and slowly stumble into my cardboard box, only to masturbate my problems away and wake up in the morning refreshed.

Maybe I'm insane. Maybe I'm a loser wannabe. Maybe I've lost ambition. Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, I'm a genius you all want to follow.

It's your call internet wanderers.

Thank you,
GOISPU

Stool-top Revelations

Dear stumbler,

Recently coming from a class where I have been surpassed on the intelligence level by four hundred thousandfold, I feel as if I have to justify my own mind to the uninterested masses.

I may not be able to hold full conversations with people, I may not be able to eat sturgeon escargot, I may not have the capabilities to devote my attention fully to anything for more than . . .

But I can have fanciful revelations while sitting boldly and proudly atop my vomit stained toilet.

Many people need to experience a shocking radicalization of self to purport a new stance on the meaning of life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. They have not the cognitive fortitude to search the self and discover that every moment in their existence is finite, infinitely done the moment the second has passed.

These people are fools. It takes not a horrific disemboweling of previously held stances. It requires not a revelation from the pages of a mystic book. It needs not the chance acquaintance of a terminally ill cancer patient telling you to ride bulls and venture forth into the wide world of skydiving. Just drop trow, take a seat atop your throne, wrench out a healthy drop of the shit you pack yourself full of, and look into it. Take a deep gaze into what you are truly constructed of, and realize that the blink you just squeezed out at your own ridiculousness is the last one you will have at that exact moment in time.

Your life will end, and you cannot change that. Make every blink count because it is the last one.

Sincerely,
GOISPU

I'm Here, and You're Welcome

Dear person who randomly stumbled upon this useless page,

So here's a question. If you're mind is packed full of stupid thoughts, you feel like you're ideas are the bee's knees, and you want everyone to know just how ridiculously smart you are, where do you put these thoughts so you can add to the pollution of mass media?

You guessed it, Facebook statuses.

But if you can't do that why not a blog?!!!

This is an experiment and an adventure into the inner workings of sociopathic, narcissistic, masochist. Come and join me on my journey to social approval and eventually becoming president of Cuba.

We can only do this together. I love you all . . . until you piss me off.

Thanks,
GOISPU